Awakening with Dolano 4 February 2002 Dolano was hammering, hammering home the truth of Being again and again. I asked myself, "Who Am I?" Waiting… My experience up to now was that whenever I checked, my infinite Being was undeniable but that somehow it had no consequence for my life. On the morning of February 4th, I was doing some yoga asanas, when I suddenly became aware that I was aware of the body being in me and not vice-versa. It was a funny two-step recognition in that I could see my not being in the body, yet not realize the significance of it for a few minutes. A good analogy is like when you have a headache for a long time and then goes away. But you don't realize it has gone for a while - when suddenly it dawns on you. This recognition is not an experience, has not happened before and is completely different than all the "awakening" experiences I have had. Nothing happened, really, just a shift in perception. How could I be in the body? Like Dolano said, the ideas is ludicrous, patently absurd. Where would I have been? In my head is the usual answer. Okay, but then where? Behind the nose? In the pituitary gland? How big am I? A round ball of white light 2 x 2 x 2 cm? Or maybe a violet egg of shimmering rainbow colors? It is all so laughable - it doesn't stand to even the slightest scrutiny. I felt as though I had hatched. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't get back in my head. I just simply saw that this was just an idea. I had been hypnotized! And it seems almost everyone is going around in the same kind of trance. Fortunately, it really doesn't stand serious impartial investigation, it is seen through. Yet - somehow - something else is needed… I don't know how this recognition happened. I guess I must say Grace. Though I was in the middle of this month-long Satsang Intensive with Dolano and much focussed on the truth of Being, the recognition came suddenly and totally unexpectedly and I really can't see any causal connection. Being "thrown out of the body" was the key because if I am not in the body, everything just falls into place: I am eternal, timeless, immovable, untouchable awareness in which everything transpires. Undeniably so. My relationship to the body is different now as well. It is no more "me" than any other body and it feels more like a robot now, a vehicle through which I can sense and express. Gangaji's words came, "The body is like your horse, you take care of it…" When involved in thought activity, the experience of life is exactly as before recognition. Such as writing this. It is during life's many daily pauses that the Truth just shines. My body and all the world dramas is happening in me. I am in the middle of a lucid dream and the awe, love, gratitude and joy is beyond words. It is all I could ever have hoped for and more. Om shanti shanti shanti |
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